Lock down musings: a shaggy Dave story

I am not usually the competitive type.  But I needed something to keep me occupied when I first started self-isolating seven weeks ago.  It would be something to do, something to keep me amused but with minimal effort.

Many years ago, when I was in school, my friend and I had part-time jobs as roadies for a six-piece party band.  It was a good job.  We were working in the music industry and this would keep our teenage dreams of one day becoming rock stars alive.  If you could say that about wedding receptions etc.  Anyway, at some point, my buddy and I decided to have a contest on who could grow the fastest beard.  We took it seriously back then, at least until the itching started to drive us crazy.

When my lock down began, in a flight of fancy I though the time was right to re-enact the experience.  All I would have to do is stop shaving and find someone to compete against.  My friend Pete was game.  And eventually we could involve our wives as judges.

Lock down has also meant that barbers are not considered essential services.  It has been nearly three months since my last haircut.  My hair grows quickly, so much so that my locks now hang limply all around my head.  There is a curious wave in the tresses that frames my face well.  And my facial hair has also grown.

Today I looked in the mirror and saw someone I did not recognise.  After six weeks, my beard is full, extending down below my chin.  I realised the person looking back at me was the progressive rock star I always wanted to be. I was grateful I own a guitar.  In the spirit of my new look, I am practising regularly.  The whole experience has had a side benefit.  If I go out to get a newspaper or some shopping, people avoid this long-haired bum that is me.  So social distancing has become easy.

In the end I wonder what will happen when lock down ends.  Pete and I will sit with our wives who will do whatever they need to do to declare a winner.  As I said, my hair grows quickly.  I expect it will be me with a whisker’s margin of victory.