From the Dutch ambassador to the Secretary General:
Your Excellency,
Hallo!
The Kingdom of the Netherlands is a proud member of this General Assembly and the ideals for which it stands. We have stood with our United Nations to ensure that members respect each other in relation to established custom and sovereignty. We also take comfort that recently this Assembly has shown itself to be prepared to consider passing resolutions requesting the revocation of member actions.
As you may be aware, historically our Kingdom has honoured and we continue to honour William of Orange by adopting orange as our national colour. In addition, we pride ourselves in the promotion of tolerance.
Yet sometimes even tolerance has its limits.
Without skating over the issue, over the past year we have been witnessing a world leader whose appearance is often described as orange. In addition, his actions are ridiculed by world media with the effect of also placing our national colour in a bad light. This is no joking matter to us.
Something must be done to preserve our beloved orange. To this end, we wish to seek a resolution of this General Assembly requiring that the geographical address of the headquarters of these United Nations be changed from New York City to New Amsterdam.
Such a resolution is based on the following facts on the ground:
Firstly, historically, before being taken over by the English, New York City was under Dutch rule and was known as New Amsterdam.
Secondly, the headquarters of the United Nations, whilst situate in New York City, rests upon land that is deemed “extra-territorial”;
Thirdly, the proposed resolution does not otherwise affect the United States of America.
Finally, the histories of our Kingdom and the United States of America are intertwined, and, the proposed resolution will re-establish and refresh those ties.
We request your urgent response on whether such a resolution can be brought forward to the membership.
Yours respectfully,
Ambassador H. Brinker
From the Secretary General to the Dutch Ambassador:
Dear Ambassador Brinker,
Thank you for your letter.
At the outset let me confirm the Assembly’s admiration for your nation’s commitment to tolerance and diversity. Your commitment is of particular note when during the course of world history the ethos of tolerance had appeared to be suspended by many.
You are correct that this administration has recently debated a resolution calling for a member state’s actions be overturned. This has since spurred other nations to propose similar resolutions. For example, our Russian colleagues believe that such a resolution could resolve the political issues currently facing German Chancellor Angela Merkel. What is proposed is to overturn the reunification of Germany into the two states of West Germany with Bonn as its de facto capital and East Germany with East Berlin as its capital. Whilst the General Assembly has no intention of undertaking any action that could re-ignite a Cold War, once the resolution is formally Put-in for consideration it will only be placed on an order paper when its passage is more than likely owing to the ambiance within the political sphere.
Although there is nothing offensive in your proposed resolution, it appears to be designed more to embarrass either another member state or its leadership over a matter of real or fake colouring. A hue and cry must be about more than just a hue. As such, we are unable to take your proposition forward. We understand that this decision will likely be a source of disappointment to you.
Finally, whilst this Assembly cannot concern itself with any real or threatened consequences between member nations arising from any resolution, we must continue to be mindful of any action that could jeopardise the integrity in the functioning of these United Nations.
Yours in good faith,
Tony