Women who walk down the street dressed in black leggings have been ubiquitous for several years now. Only styles have since moved on. Whilst leggings continue to remain in vogue, they and skin tight trousers must now have holes cut across the knees and possibly farther along the leg. It looks as if the cloth cannot contain the limbs being covered. Not that I am complaining. Like many men, I take notice. Most women who showcase rips are young and attractive. But whether men are interested in a given woman’s overall appearance or are merely enjoying the glimpse of exposed flesh, I don’t know. All I do know is that the new fashion has made me think about the terms of reference or connections in my brain. My baggage, as it were.
In his 1889 essay The Decay of Lying Oscar Wilde opined that “Life mirrors Art far more than Art mirrors Life”. The future certainly proved Wilde right. For example, the atomic bomb was invented nearly thirty years after it was a mere plot device in H. G. Wells’ 1914 novel The World Set Free. That book was where The Bomb was named. Similarly, today’s fashion appears to be copying art, but this time it seems to be derived from the comic books, most notably The Incredible Hulk.
The brainchild of Marvel Comics’ dynamic duo of Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, Dr Robert Bruce Banner was a milquetoast scientist who showed some gumption by rescuing a teenager from a nuclear test. An exposure to an overdose of gamma rays later, Dr Banner became cursed much in the way Henry Jeckyl was. At first, Banner would transform nightly into a rampaging behemoth. Later the change was triggered by the quickening of Banner’s pulse. The change was extraordinary. Banner gained height, weight and muscle but lost his genius as he burst out of his clothes to wear only stretched purple trousers ripped at the knees.
But just as denim leggings became known as jeggings years ago, we now need a proper term for the article of clothing that has today become stylistically de rigeur. I wonder if the appropriate nomenclature should be inspired by product inspiration, whether conscious or not, real or unreal. If so, then I propose that ripped leggings be called Hulks. The plural is mandatory akin to the grammar applicable to trousers. Or perhaps the better term is Shulks, a reference to Bruce Banner’s cousin She-Hulk and who is affectionately referred to as Shulkie among the superhero community.
It is a name that is surprisingly appropriate for it carries the unspoken warning to anyone taking either too much interest in or unwanted liberties with any woman in her Shulks. To paraphrase the 1970s television show: “Don’t make her angry. You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.”