The Origin of the Specious has learned the European Broadcasting Union will be issuing the following statement:
To highlight the importance of the Eurovision Song Contest, we will be deciding which UK city will host the 2023 Contest in the same manner as how the UK Conservative Party will decide who will be its next leader. The sixteen contenders will be reduced one at a time until there are only two left. Then, with Russian guns and tanks on standby to ensure the contest is not seen to be rudderless, the decision will be made in five weeks in a race to the bottom over which of the two city finalists will be awarded the 2023 Eurovision Song Contest as Ukraine’s proxy.
Oscar Wilde was right. Life mirrors art.