Organised by a number of Middle Eastern nations for regional athletics to prepare for the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio next month, the First Annual Levantine Games continued with the Infidel Skeet Shoot, a featured event midway through the competition schedule. At the Assad Memorial Shooting Range, organisers had assembled a collection of non-believers to act as clay pigeons, including a small number of Sunni, but not Shia, Muslims who also qualified as collateral damage in suicide bombings. The aim of the event is to rack up the most number of deaths.
The first shooter was Naif Abu Sharah of the Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigades. From the catapult D James Kennedy was sent airborne before Sharah aimed and fired, scoring a direct hit on the Evangelical Christian.
The Taliban’s Mullah Mohammed Omar lined up next. Once in position, he waited for Ali Murad Davudi to be launched skyward. Once released, Omar missed the Baha’I man. However, Davudi landed so forcefully and with a thud, he passed on from his injuries.
Abdullah Azzam of Al-Qaeda was next. His target was Tuli Kupferberg, the Jewish anarchist who was sent up and immediately shot down with the precision for which Al-Qaeda prefers to be known.
The fourth contestant was Abu Ali Mustapha of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine who stood eager to fire at Godless non-believer George Hawi, a Lebanese atheist. Nerves must have got the better of Mustapha for his shot was wide. Still, Hawi died on impact with the desert.
The last competitor of the round was Muslim Brotherhood’s Mohammed Mahdi Akef. His target was Farid al-Atrash. Akef waited patiently, caressing his fire arm until Druze man was fired toward the heavens. Unfortunately, the accuracy of Akef’s sawed-off rifle left a lot to be desired leaving al-Atrash to land with a splat to die instantly on meeting the ground.
Despite three misses there were no targets left alive. Accordingly, all competitors advanced to the next round in a five-way tie.